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[Mar. 10th, 2011|07:17 am] |
Dear Tank in SFK:
I'm a real healer. I don't mean to sound elitist or a prick, but I am. I've been healing since before Wrath made everything super easy, stayed on the Holy side of things when The Shattering shattered the bottom of my [Endless Mana Bar] and mana started leaking everywhere (I'll fix it, I promise. Gimme a few tiers.) and I'll be healing long after. I know my spells. I know what to do in an emergency, and trust me when I say this: I'm more familiar with your healthbar than you ever will be. I fill her up in ways that you can only imagine.
Furthermore, this is Heroic SFK, not a progression fight. I've been here a hundred thousand times before, and I know how hard mobs hit, what mobs to keep interrupted (yay baseline interrupt!), and what groups are going to wreck your face in less time than it took for your queue to pop. In a similar fashion, the first couple of pulls of that place when done without CC are a very good test of how much damage you're going to be taking throughout the dungeon, so I have a pretty good idea of how much of my attention you're going to need. So when I leave you, Mr. Mostly-Purples with nearly 200k health sitting at 80% health and I decide to throw out a couple of guarantee crit Exorcisms so I can amuse myself watching crit numbers bounce on my screen...you are FINE. You are in no danger of dying and I don't feel like casting a Holy Light while waiting for my Shock to come off CD. In fact, we're on the wreck-your-face pulls before Walden and I'm still keeping you up with nary a dent in my mana pool and there hasn't been a moment, short of scripted ones, where you were anywhere CLOSE to dying. Say it with me now: I am fine. Really. Trust in your healers. We're your friends. It's those threat stealing DPS dicks you gotta worry about. >:3
And speaking of scripted near-death experiences (andthreatstealingDPSdicks*):
Dear Magetard:
You know why I didn't respond to you when you yelled WTF HEAL ME after one of Ashbury's Asphyxiates? I was too busy looking for the Healer icon next to your name, cause strangely enough, last time I checked it was next to MINE. OH WAIT! IT STILL IS!
I'm not going to heal you to full. I'm not going to heal you to half. I'm probably not even going to heal you to 30%. You're fine, you're not going to die. Shut up and DPS. What's really funny is how you call me out for "lol l2p" when I nicely decided to explain to you afterwards why I wasn't healing you to full after every Asphyxiate...and then you die because you forgot how to play Red Light/Green Light on Walden, and you die because you don't Decurse on Godfrey. The irony in that is just so delicious, there's no way it's calorie-free.
Signed,
Your soon-to-be former Blood Elf Paladin Healer. Farewell, Horde. *sniffles*
PS: Dear Daybreak and Eternal Glory procs: I love you. I do. I love it when you come together. The two of you are so absolutely decadent together that it's like an orgy of instant low-mana cost heals. It's so amazing that I feel like I need to go to confession everytime the two of you proc.
XOXOXO,
Cy
*don't take me seriously at 7AM. I'm feeling snarky. I love you guys. Really!...in the non creepy way of course**
**unless you want to be loved that way...cause I'm always open. >.> |
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***signed by a disco/holy priest** preach it!
Oh dear god I hate, hate it when DPS scream for heals after Asphyxiate, I will get them to 10%-20% and that's it (unless it's the last one before his dark archangel phase) but damn it drives me insane.
I had one guy abuse me through the whole H SFK run once when I told him that no he was wrong and I was not going to piss mana up the wall just to keep him happy. By the end of the run I had so many lovely breaches of the ToS to ticket a GM with, I hope he got a nice talking to about it :P
I'm more familiar with your healthbar than you ever will be. I fill her up in ways that you can only imagine.
This... is perhaps the sexiest description of healing I have ever heard. /fans herself
First I start slow with my Holy Light. Sometimes I give it to her fast and hard with my Flash of Light. Just when she's goin' down onfor me, I hit her with my big and hard... Divine Light and leave her begging for some more. That's right baby. I'll Beacon your Light anyday. Edited at 2011-03-10 01:31 pm (UTC)
*giggles madly as she starts re-imagining the words to "Sexual Healing" *
I think I need a cold shower! >.>
edited: Maybe I should riptide myself. >.>
Edited at 2011-03-10 02:47 pm (UTC)
Just came here to say I love you, hard ;)
Love me hard like Hard Modes? Don't worry, I'm safe. Pallies do it with Protection.
From: (Anonymous)
2011-03-10 05:21 pm (UTC)
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day break and eternal glory procs make me squirm and writh in pure healer joy ZOMG
and agreed. the health bar is kinky XD
Tell me it isn't the hottest thing in the world when you get back-to-back Daybreak procs :3
Ohhhhh baby~
Oh man...there are some situations where seeing those two arc...wing...things pop up in quick succession? It's like Christmas, my birthday, and Halloween all in one instant. In a couple of situations (like Magmaw mangling a tank) that when I get quick Daybreaks with a Eternal Glory in between. "brb guys, rapture's here".
"HEALZ PLZ"
Are you dead?
No?
Shut up.
And if you are dead, still shut up because pallies don't have a brez. :P
Word.
I daresay I couldn't have said it myself. My discopriests most thoroughly agree.
~ Briannlei & Aeryllin | |
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