Manna (hooves) wrote in dear_gnome,
Manna
hooves
dear_gnome

I really know how to pick a server, don't I? Horde-side Proudmoore is like a ghost town. At least someone finally answered my plea in trade to make me a glyph.

That said...have some letters from a leveling paladin.

Dear DPS,

I don't mind if you pull, all right? Do whatever the fuck you want. But if you blame me for your death (or the healer), then I'm going to be upset. It's not my job to chase your stupid ass all over the instance, let alone the planet. Got it, Mr. Runs-into-the-room-with-Ironya-and-fights-her-at-the-back-wall? Yeah, okay. I'm glad we've cleared that up.

-Madame Holstein, your friendly neighborhood cowtank

--

Dear monk tanks,

Sometimes my connection gets shitty and I pop over into my ret spec. How hard is it to monk tank? If you're a monk in full heirlooms, at level 45 you should be doing double my DPS on AoE pulls. Just saying. I realize that IRL it might be hard to breathe alcohol on shit and then breathe fire on it, too, but in WoW as a monk tank, it's pretty easy. Also wow, I realize that "Guard" is a hard button to see, but put it on your bars and use it as soon as it becomes available.

Ssssssssssssssigh,

-the black and white ret paladin

--

Dear tanks in general,

Stop queueing for shit just to drop group.

-The prot paladin moonlighting as retribution who...somehow still has to tank everything

--

Dear cute people,

Yeah you. Cute little hunters and your cute pets and the cute mages who say cute things like, "You're a good tank wow it's so hard to find a good tank please for the love of God tell me that you're requeueing."

I like you guys.
-The cowpally

--

Dear healers,

Yeah, okay. I don't have heirloom gear. But I know that I'm not THAT hard to heal, all right? Consider, if you will, paying attention. Consider also keeping up with the group after you tell me to "go go go" because I assume that means, "pull fast and efficiently" and not "haha you run ahead this RIPTIDE will keep you alive while I tab over to facebook!!!!"

NO. It will not keep me alive. You need to stick with the group and do more than pick the dirt out from between your toes. I know pushing more than one button in this game is difficult. -_-

Siiiiiiigh,
The cowpally

--

Dear kids,

Stop being selfish. The influx of super selfish people is just amazing. If you're going to queue as DPS *have a DPS spec*! It's not that hard. Seriously. I'm looking at you, warriors who queue as prot in a DPS role, stay prot the whole dungeon, and fight me for aggro. Not cool. Switch stances if you're going to stay in prot spec. Oh? It doesn't work? Then pay the 10g (and you can afford it, I see your heirlooms) and get dual-spec and grab yourself some crappy greens off of the AH (or more heirlooms) to play arms/fury. Again, THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

Also, please to be needing only on what you need. Yeah, I see you, you assholes in heirlooms needing on blues because they look cool or whatever. Thanks. I needed that one-hander. Oh, and then a second upgrade drops the same dungeon BUT YOU HIT NEED ON IT AGAIN. So you know what? When the 2h drops, I need on it for my ret spec! Oh, shit, well, I lost it to you, too, Mr. Prot Warrior who I've fought for aggro the entire dungeon. Thanks. A lot. -_-

I see this too much. Stop it. Be courteous and respectful.

-The cow who just wants nice, fast dungeons
Tags: fail dps, fail healer, fail tank
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